hair today, gone tomorrow

Well, we finally hit that point.  We've talked surgery, chemo, breasts and now... hair.
It's coming out in clumps, so I've taken to shampooing at least once a day to wash out the loose strands.  A few days back we shaved it down to military length, interesting look on me.  No offense to my gay and lesbian friends, I've never been a real "girly" girl, but this is a bit "butch" for me.  I think I'll like bald better once we're there.

It doesn't happen like you think it will, either all at once, or steadily, like a person "grows" bald.  For me, my "part" is growing, which is weird. And when I went to even out the sides, holding a piece out to snip it, it just came out in my hands.  I guess, I simply imagined this happening differently, but for the life of my I can't come up with how I thought it would happen.... just different.

During the summer, I've watched as the younger boys up at our church camp line up for the annual head-shave of summer.  I now understand the appeal of doing this in the great outdoors.  The hair goes everywhere!   I also understand the appeal of shaving it all, since it just continues to fall out in bed, in the livingroom, on the stairs.  The up side for me is it is impossible to tell the difference between my hair and my dog's hair.  On the other hand, it looks like I don't even try to keep my floors clean.

The hats have started arriving.  I ordered scarves, hats, and little sleeping caps, since I'm looking at many cold weather months being relatively bald.  And I'm finding, I don't really like wearing them.  If I'm going to be bald, I'd rather just be bald.  It's kind of like the breast thing, I'm not sure it's worth the hassle right now of "faking" it.  Who knows, time will tell if I change my mind - don't be surprised if I do.  I'm learning something new about cancer and myself each step of the way.

So hair today, gone tomorrow - that's the punch line.  The good news is, it grows back and I hear more marvelously than what was there before.  Now if someone could find me a cap designed like a "magic 8 ball" , I'd be really impressed, and more so if it read "Outlook positive".

post script 122011 - if you want to see a hair progression, you can use this link to my FB album, no FB account needed:  http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2119366339489.2105012.1105695732&type=1&l=442935ef3c