On 10.26 I went in for my bi-lateral mastectomy. We arrived at 11 am, my daughter and my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. Friends arrived shortly after to support us and after they brought me back to be "prepped" my family and friends were brought in to wait with me for my 1pm surgery. An hour delay, and we were on our way. I'm amazed at how many times my wrist band was scanned and I was asked to confirm my identity. I'm so glad they do that, but it made me think that there must have been a pretty good reason they put the process and technology in place, and if I think about it too much it freaks me out.
When I walked into the operating room I recall saying, "it's a lot bigger on TV". The room was small, cool with a lot of stainless steel and light. I laid down, and was out like a light within seconds. I don't recall waking, but I do know my daughter was by my side immediately and her face is the constant in my memories. She slept in those semi-comfortable reclining hospital chairs, and we talked in the middle of the night. And for the first time, I see it. She has grown up, a woman - strong, capable, amazing. An incredibly intelligent and beautiful woman.
The next two days are spotty in my memory, but on Friday the release process began. I had been up, walking the hallways with my IV stand, eating normal food and feeling good except a headache that had started. "The smiley doctor" (so dubbed by my family and friends) came in first to look at me and clear me for release. He asked if I had "looked" yet and when I replied that I hadn't, he gave me a great piece of advice - "look". Women who look, become comfortable early with their surgery site do better emotionally and physically. So I looked.
I was surprised to see it appeared I had some breast tissue left, but soon realized that the effect was due to the expanders placed during the surgery to initiate the reconstruction. There are multiple incisions on the left side because of the lymph node removal and this this is the memory trigger - the cancer is in the lymph nodes. I'm no longer concerned about how I look and want to know - how much? How many lymph nodes are affected? We have to wait for the general surgeon for that answer.
Many people come and go over the next hours, as we wait for the general surgeon to make his rounds. At one point, my phone rings and it is my case worker from the Jane Brattain center calling to check on me. I tell her I am good, heading home today, but am anxious -waiting to hear on the lymph nodes. She tells me she has that information if I want it and of course, I do. The news is good - just one lymph node. They took 2 "sentinel" lymph nodes (these are the first nodes from which lymphatic fluid flow from the cancer site); one had cancer one did not. So they removed the first "tier" - the next stops in the lymphatic drainage - another 8 nodes. No cancer in any of those. It's not the best case, but it's pretty close.
A short while later, the general surgeon comes in; he clears me for release. And as my family prepares me to head out, my pastor and friend, Monica, arrives with the most beautiful prayer shawl knit for me by our church's prayer shawl ministry. She prays with us all, gives me a hug and within a few minutes I am out the door - on my way home - ready for my speedy recovery.
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