October 7th

Prologue, part 2:

On October 7th I wrote this on my Facebook wall:  

3 weeks ago I went in for my annual mammogram

2 weeks ago I was called back in for additional images 
1 week ago I had a biopsy 
Today I have breast cancer

An annual mammogram.  I had them every year.  Some years I went early because I had felt a lump, and there had been many lumps.  Many years they called me back for additional images after the initial mammogram:  ultrasounds, more mammograms.  This year, it was additional mammogram images.  I wasn't worried - I hadn't even felt a lump.   Then came the biopsy, but I had friends and co-workers who came out clean.  I was only a little worried.

On October 4th I was at work, dashing between meeting as usual, and swinging through the cafe to refill my coffee cup - my "Amy's" mug from Caribou commemorating breast cancer awareness month.  My phone rang and I knew.  I have breast cancer.  breast cancer.  Okay, now what -

An MRI on Oct 5, a visit with the surgeon on Oct 6, a decision on Oct 7:  Bi-lateral mastectomy.  

The most frustrating part of this whole thing for me is that no one will tell you what the best course of action is.  The surgeon, the oncologist, the plastic surgeon, the nurses.  If one more person says to me "it's a very personal decision" I think I'm going to lose it.  I want to scream they are just boobs, fatty tissue - if it were on my hips you wouldn't be telling me it was a "personal decision".  If I was a man you wouldn't be telling me "it's a personal decision".  You would be telling me - "let's get that cancer out of you and then just for good measure let's zap that sucker."   The last thing I need to hear is "it's a personal decision."  I want facts.  Statistics.  Guaranteed return on investment.  

So I go into "business mode":  Give me the data, I know I won't have all the information, but I will have sufficient information to make an educated decision, which is a far cry better than "it's a personal decision."   I run two organizations in parallel, they are both good:  Mayo Clinic Rochester and Park Nicollet/Methodist.  Each has it's trade offs, but in the end I select PN/M because they are able to get me in sooner, they are closer to home for family and follow up, I instinctively trust my oncologist and, luck of the draw, I was selected for some kind of "medical review" and my case was reviewed by the entire oncology team.  It will go back to them if anything deviates from expectations, so I now feel I have a true team working on my behalf.  There's no "guarantee" - but i have a strategic plan.